Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
