So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize