Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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