I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
