Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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