I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
