For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
