Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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