Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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