i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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