why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
