i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
