Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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