lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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