you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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