It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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