are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
