Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
