i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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