This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
