i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
