Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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