Please don't use social media to get back at me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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