Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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