You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
