I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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