My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize