Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
