There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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