I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
