big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
