I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
