i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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