I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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