last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
