Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
