How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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