I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
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She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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