I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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