her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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