I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
