So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
