3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
