I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
