Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
