So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
