oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
is it fun? or sober?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
