You can't motorboat a personality
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
