we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
