It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
