quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.