so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?