Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP