Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Randomize
Follow @tfln