I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
