Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish I only lived at night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
