I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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