i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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