got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
