I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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