We won't sleep together?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
