K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
