you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
