Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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