There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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